He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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