Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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