I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
