Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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