If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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