i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can I color on your dick again?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I FOUND THE LEGS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
