ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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