so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Welp...herpes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
