Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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