i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She is in my trunk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.