I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.