idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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