singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
