I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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