I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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