so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
