I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
