fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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