it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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