Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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