I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
