I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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