If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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