I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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