I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
