her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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