In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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