This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
