Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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