His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
