we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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