Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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