What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
