this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
