i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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