Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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