Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
