a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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