I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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