Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
