what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
