Soap is not a condiment
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
