We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
