he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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