Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
