Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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