yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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