He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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