The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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