if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
