Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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