Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
