piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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