super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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