She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my shit smells like andre
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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