dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
