my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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