An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
