It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Text me some of your sweat
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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